This post isn't a story..It isn't an incident.Just don't ask me what it is.Just the other day I was going somewhere when I saw an ambulance speeding through the overcrowded street and right then I felt like writing something.I thought,"What must be going in the mind of the one in the ambulance?(that is if the patient's senses are still working and his pain hasn't overtaken his other feelings).. This is what I wrote..I just kept on scribbling something without giving a thought about what I was writing.So there might be numerous flaws in it.Plus if you notice,this writeup does not have an ending and that's because I couldnt think of one.Or perhaps it did not deserve a one..Here it goes.................
Tuesday,6:20 pm..
Why does it have such a loud blaring noise.I understand that the traffic needs to know that there's an ambulance but can't they use something better?Something soothing to your ears.I mean as it is this pain is killing me.What else do they want?This is mental torture.I guess they can play a Bollywood number to attract the attention of other drivers.Better they must get to know the favourite track of the patient and play it.It's done in many hospitals.Why not in the ambulance too?The music's good and what else the one who's probably going to die gets to listen to his favourite track one last time.
Naah....doesn't make sense does it?I mean which family would be in the mood of listening to a bollywood number when their Ghar ka Chiraag's condition isn't very good?I mean few tensed relatives who are stealing glances at their watches thinking that the Hospital's in India are so far off..few chanting mantras,praying to God and the rest desperately trying not to cry and giving words of comfort to the patient that everything will be allright..as if God had given them a trunk call clearly mentioning that things are under control when as a matter of fact they aren't..Will these relatives feel like listening to a song?No..of course not.But that surely doesn't mean that this loud alarm is music to their ears.It isn't.
Hey by the way am Nihaal,27 years of age and I have met with a life threatning accident at the Mumbai-Pune highway.The journey hadn't been a bit adventourous but then I had not expected something so out of the box.Because within seconds things went out of control.Maybe I should not have crossed the 100kmph mark.Out of nowhere a truck came in front of my car and my senses bid goodbye to me.I failed to apply the brakes,rammed into the truck which as a matter of fact was carrying steel rods meant for construction.Those rods i guess were not meant for buildings.They were meant for me and my car.The windshield was shattered in moments and seconds later I could feel that one of those rods had crashed into me.I had read somewhere that if things suddenly do not go according to the way they should, human mind stops reacting for it cannot comprehend the sudden changes.And yes,I could not comprehend what actually happened.
So am now in a horizontal positon in a moving van supposedly called an ambulance and am being taken to a hospitalAlthough am semi-concious(yeah am not unconcious)..I cannot see.I do not have that much of blood left in me to open my eyes.But I can sense that my family and few relatives are there in the van.Its a big van with all the modern amenities meant for emergency cases like me.
Ever been inside an ambulance?Its hell.I mean hell can't be worse than this.I know some of us try to picture what hell would be like.For me its inside an ambulance.Whether you are the centre of attraction or not,it surely is hell.Worried expressions,tensed moments..all in all the atmosphere surely isn't rocking.
Uff...the pain is untolerable.Plus these needles meant for blood and saline and stuff..Irritating.Its as if just for these few moments God has decided that the laws of nature would change.That time would Indeed STOP.Added to the fact that your loved ones are having a tough time.
Its said that just before you die life flashes before your eyes.I now can clearly see my first day in school,my first fight,my first kiss,and the truck..oh wait...wait..hell..why am I thinking these things?Am I going to die??NO....NO....NO NO..hell crap NO..How can I die?I am just 27.Please God.I have so much more to do,so many places to visit plus am still a virgin at 27.God NO...please dont let me die?Hell why am I falling short of a breath?God..help me BREATHE...help me BREATHE..please.!!Why do I feel like a guy who's been running a long marathon but just as the finishing line is in sight,he collapses and falls down.NO...GOD..NO!!
Meanwhile the pictures keep coming.The memorable Goa trip with friends,the long walks at marine drive with Sohail and the long stories about his crushes,Neha Didi's wedding and that cute girl at the wedding,amazing coffee at CCD..These pictures just wont go.
And then suddenly maybe out of desperation or frustration a prayer comes out..
God!If I am able to walk again after today,I would start giving importance to this amazing gift given by you called Life.I would spend more time with my family.I would not ring our neighbours doorbell and then run away just to irritate them,and I would not fight with the doodhwala stating that he has now become a Paaniwala.
Strange..Humans have this amazing ability to start giving importance to things or individuals,only when they are gone or are about to go.All through my lifeless life i never have given importance to such small things but now when Yamraj is sitting on top of my head and playing Tabla..i suddenly feel a little different.
Tuesday....6:55pm
Suddenly the ambulance comes to a halt.So I haven't died.I will give doctors a chance to prove their mettle.Good..!!But one thing is very clear to me....am not dying,,strangely enough I feel that this is a kind of a rebirth for me.Nihaal Sinha has just died.And Nihaal Sinha is just born
Tuesday,6:20 pm..
Why does it have such a loud blaring noise.I understand that the traffic needs to know that there's an ambulance but can't they use something better?Something soothing to your ears.I mean as it is this pain is killing me.What else do they want?This is mental torture.I guess they can play a Bollywood number to attract the attention of other drivers.Better they must get to know the favourite track of the patient and play it.It's done in many hospitals.Why not in the ambulance too?The music's good and what else the one who's probably going to die gets to listen to his favourite track one last time.
Naah....doesn't make sense does it?I mean which family would be in the mood of listening to a bollywood number when their Ghar ka Chiraag's condition isn't very good?I mean few tensed relatives who are stealing glances at their watches thinking that the Hospital's in India are so far off..few chanting mantras,praying to God and the rest desperately trying not to cry and giving words of comfort to the patient that everything will be allright..as if God had given them a trunk call clearly mentioning that things are under control when as a matter of fact they aren't..Will these relatives feel like listening to a song?No..of course not.But that surely doesn't mean that this loud alarm is music to their ears.It isn't.
Hey by the way am Nihaal,27 years of age and I have met with a life threatning accident at the Mumbai-Pune highway.The journey hadn't been a bit adventourous but then I had not expected something so out of the box.Because within seconds things went out of control.Maybe I should not have crossed the 100kmph mark.Out of nowhere a truck came in front of my car and my senses bid goodbye to me.I failed to apply the brakes,rammed into the truck which as a matter of fact was carrying steel rods meant for construction.Those rods i guess were not meant for buildings.They were meant for me and my car.The windshield was shattered in moments and seconds later I could feel that one of those rods had crashed into me.I had read somewhere that if things suddenly do not go according to the way they should, human mind stops reacting for it cannot comprehend the sudden changes.And yes,I could not comprehend what actually happened.
So am now in a horizontal positon in a moving van supposedly called an ambulance and am being taken to a hospitalAlthough am semi-concious(yeah am not unconcious)..I cannot see.I do not have that much of blood left in me to open my eyes.But I can sense that my family and few relatives are there in the van.Its a big van with all the modern amenities meant for emergency cases like me.
Ever been inside an ambulance?Its hell.I mean hell can't be worse than this.I know some of us try to picture what hell would be like.For me its inside an ambulance.Whether you are the centre of attraction or not,it surely is hell.Worried expressions,tensed moments..all in all the atmosphere surely isn't rocking.
Uff...the pain is untolerable.Plus these needles meant for blood and saline and stuff..Irritating.Its as if just for these few moments God has decided that the laws of nature would change.That time would Indeed STOP.Added to the fact that your loved ones are having a tough time.
Its said that just before you die life flashes before your eyes.I now can clearly see my first day in school,my first fight,my first kiss,and the truck..oh wait...wait..hell..why am I thinking these things?Am I going to die??NO....NO....NO NO..hell crap NO..How can I die?I am just 27.Please God.I have so much more to do,so many places to visit plus am still a virgin at 27.God NO...please dont let me die?Hell why am I falling short of a breath?God..help me BREATHE...help me BREATHE..please.!!Why do I feel like a guy who's been running a long marathon but just as the finishing line is in sight,he collapses and falls down.NO...GOD..NO!!
Meanwhile the pictures keep coming.The memorable Goa trip with friends,the long walks at marine drive with Sohail and the long stories about his crushes,Neha Didi's wedding and that cute girl at the wedding,amazing coffee at CCD..These pictures just wont go.
And then suddenly maybe out of desperation or frustration a prayer comes out..
God!If I am able to walk again after today,I would start giving importance to this amazing gift given by you called Life.I would spend more time with my family.I would not ring our neighbours doorbell and then run away just to irritate them,and I would not fight with the doodhwala stating that he has now become a Paaniwala.
Strange..Humans have this amazing ability to start giving importance to things or individuals,only when they are gone or are about to go.All through my lifeless life i never have given importance to such small things but now when Yamraj is sitting on top of my head and playing Tabla..i suddenly feel a little different.
Tuesday....6:55pm
Suddenly the ambulance comes to a halt.So I haven't died.I will give doctors a chance to prove their mettle.Good..!!But one thing is very clear to me....am not dying,,strangely enough I feel that this is a kind of a rebirth for me.Nihaal Sinha has just died.And Nihaal Sinha is just born
3 comments:
awesome...how did u knw wat a person feels while on his death bed....expressions brought out quite well...lets c d day m on my death bed do i feel d same way....
brilliant in describin nihals emotions..though didnt see the connection wid da siren sound...!!
"Nihaal Sinha has just died.And Nihaal Sinha is just born"-punchline in the end..i like...!!
hey seema..i dont know...and am sure no one actually thinks these things on his death bed..just used my imagination..
@secret weapon..thanks..!!
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