What’s the Hurry Boss??

What’s with me and the cab drivers these days?  We never seem to be on the same page. For the third time in this one month I hopped onto a cab, the driver of which was either a Formula One fan or for some strange reason believed he was driving a Ferrari. I tried checking the cab’s speedometer but it lay still. Probably it has its own story to tell. Probably it has seen such horrendous speeds and has been treated with such disgust that it decided not to move. So while the cab I was in, was about to touch supersonic speeds the pointer on the speedometer dial lay kissing 0, almost teasing the other numbers in the dial, letting them know that it shall never meet them again.

Initially I felt that the cab driver was under the impression that I was in a hurry. So I politely informed that I did have all the time in this world to reach my destination and that he can take it easy. But he didn't seem 

interested. I requested him, politely at first and then getting a sterner tone but all he could manage was
मी आता 5 वर्षे हे वाहनचालक आहे, आरामशीर बसणे (I have been driving this car for 5 years now. Relax).

I let go off my futile attempts and although I didn't relax for the rest of the journey, nervously fidgeting my fingers, we avoided any untoward incidents.

Now if any of this makes an impression that I hate speed than that’s so not true. I love speed. One of the top 5 items in my bucket list reads sitting on one of those Maglev trains and having a gala time. I love it when the    plane am sitting in gets to its V1 decision speed and is about to take off. I admire such speeds.

My problem is wrong speed at a wrong time and a wrong place. If you are speeding at 80kmph in a road where 40kmph seems tough then am bound to be scared. I wanted to argue with my cab driver that you have driven this way for 5 years and have been extremely lucky but here’s the sad part. Luck runs out just once and if and when it does, it might be disastrous.

I also wanted to discuss about customer satisfaction, about how customer is the king and if I ask you to drive slowly, you do just that. I decided against it.

Then the root cause struck me. It wasn't speed which was the problem. Speed was just the by product of the main cause. I wasn't in a hurry but I comfortably ignored my ‘partenaire’. Yes. The cab driver was in a hurry.

It finally dawned upon me that we all are in some sort of hurry all the time. No am not talking about anyone in particular. I am sure that most often than not there are specific cases where people need to rush.

Sometimes we rush to catch the missing flight,

Are in a haste to attend an important meeting

Running for the blockbuster movie late night

Or worse have kept our wife, girlfriend waiting.

There are billion other situations when one has no other options but to race with time. However there are times when you observe people hurrying for no specific reasons.

Consider the following:

After a plane landing:  There was a rule earlier by the Govt of India that mobile phones should not be used by passengers till the plane has reached its parking bay. Agreed it was lame but it was still a rule. Yet, in those days we could easily find mobiles ringing the moment the wheels touched the runway. At times even before the plane landed, a cacophony of ringtones could be heard shattering the quiet and then the usual whispers followed,’ Haan land nahi hui hain.. Theek hai Gate pe hi rahiye..land karke call karenge.’(  Yaa. It hasn’t landed. Ok You stay put near the arrival gates. I will call you once I land’).

And I wonder. Weren’t we asked to switch off our mobile phones before this machine took off? Such is the brazen apathy for rules at times.

Now do you ask the punishment for this? A beautiful air hostess who is already seated for landing and is helpless, gently switches on the in flight passenger announcement system and politely reminds,’ Passengers are requested not to use their mobiles till the plane has landed. Thank you’.

Her Standard Operating Procedure doesn't allow her to hurl the choicest abuses at the offender, or at least show him the middle finger. He is her esteemed customer who has erred just once. But you know the truth. Don’t you? He will keep ignoring rules for reasons best known to him. Even if one is in a hurry, one can easily call his driver after he deplanes and the driver will still be there. You certainly don’t expect him to be a superman flying next to your plane and gently lifting you up from your seat, do you?  It’s in these situations that I think, ‘What’s the hurry boss’?

There are umpteen such scenarios.

Imagine the situation when the plane finally lands. As soon as it reaches the bay, people crowd the aisle within nanoseconds, collect their luggage and wait for deplaning. Now if you are sitting in aisle, you are doomed boss. The persons sitting in the middle and window seats will not let you breathe till they do not come out and stand in the aisle. Somehow, anyhow by pushing almost shoving you so hard that you eventually end up hurting the person standing behind you. Yes sir, manners and etiquette fly out of the window as soon as we land. Worse if there’s even a slight delay for deplaning we do not think twice before being rude to the airhostess’s. Yes, the same thought comes to my mind, ‘What’s the hurry boss’?

I can discuss several other situations. Flouting traffic rules is one of them. The drivers are smart, the cops smarter. The junction near my house is an apt example. The cops here used to stand in the middle of the road earlier and drivers back then used to be the most disciplined lot. Then suddenly the cops disappeared and even though the traffic light still existed, it became virtually nonexistent for people. Red, Orange Green all meant one and the same thing, Go Go Go.. Honk Honk Honk..!!

Then the cops returned, but this time avoiding the middle of the road, instead choosing the cool shade of the tree next to the road. The drivers still unaware of police presence did not respect the red, only to the glee of the cops. They now had a daily flow of cash from these drivers.

The drivers have finally learnt from their mistake. No wait, they still don’t respect the red. There is no respect, only fear for the cops. The drivers now play the watch and go policy. Red now means the following:

1.       Look left for cops

2.       Look right for cops

3.       Drag vehicles slowly down the road as you never know when a cop emerges from a corner

4.       When convinced of no cop presence, drive away.

If by mistake you are a law abiding citizen and you do respect the red then the ear deafening noise of the car horns behind you will eventually make you a law breaking citizen and you will drive away.

These and many such daily sights do make me think,’ What’s the hurry boss’?

Can we do something to change all this? Frankly I don’t know. I suggest getting CCTV cameras everywhere. In the roads, inside the plane, in shops, multiplexes. But then who are you going to complain to? And what are you going to say? I was pushed by a person because he was in a hurry. Ah, Lame to think the least.

I also suggest changes in the announcements made inside a plane once it lands.

‘Ladies and gentlemen, Boys and girls, Welcome to xyz airport. The outside temperature is 30 deg C. Please remain seated till the plane has come to a complete halt and the seat belt sign is turned off.  Please be courteous towards other passengers and let the one’s sitting in aisle get their luggage first. Your luggage isn't running away. So is your driver. You are paying him after all. If after our repeated requests you do not pay heed to our advice we will charge Rs 100 for inconvenience caused to the fellow passenger. Remember our cameras are watching you. Thank you. Looking forward to serve you again.’

May I also request the traffic cops to remain hidden, but don’t vanish. Do come out at times. Let Red get back the respect it deserves.

Hoping for changes soon.

Till then, ask for the window seat while checking in an airport and every time the cab driver goes beyond 50kmph, fake a heart attack. Let him know you are a heart patient and if he drives above 50, you might die.